He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
