I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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