Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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