She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
