when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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