I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
