I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
