By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
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