I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
