i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
