my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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