Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Randomize
