Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
i came on her dog
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
