I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Randomize
