Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
