Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
So much Jack, so little girl.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize