i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
