it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize
