im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Randomize
