is wine microwaveable?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
