"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
