Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Randomize
