Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
You took a bar mat shot.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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