I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
