im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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