So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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