I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
