Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
