Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
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