I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
