her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize