dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
