walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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