He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
