I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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