let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Randomize
