He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
