Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Randomize
