Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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