You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
