I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
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