It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
