Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
