oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize
