How'd it feel making her break her religion?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
