i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
