I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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