dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
