So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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