so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Randomize
