The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
