Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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